The vedict in in...

Chloe has EE...eosinophilic esophagitis :( She actually has it...I cant believe it. One of my babies has a disease that has the potential to cause serious problems in her life.

I am trying to take it all in. Im trying to not get all worked up. We will take it one day at a time. We still dont know what is going to happen, where this disease will lead us but I have faith that things will be okay and we can make it trhough this. I feel bad for my baby girl. I hate that she will have to deal with this. Im glad we know know what she has so we can start helping her.

All 3 of my kids are having issues right now. Chloe is dealing with EE, asthma and possibly allergies
Ryan is dealing with allergies...his eyes are red and he has a headache today. Alyssa is dealing with her yearly sesonal eczema....ugh!!!!! Its going to be a hard season. All I can do is pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday Fun Day!!!

So after all the drama going on with Chloe and with the relief of the test finally being over, I decided we needed a family fun day. JR and my mom had to go to San Diego so I decided to take the kiddos to the duck pond and the beach. Chloe started talking about feeding ducks a few weeks ago and thanks to a friend, we finally found the prefect place. The kids all had a fun time...even Ryan :) After the duck pond we went to the beach....oh how I have missed the beach!!! It was amazing. I love the beach for so many reasons. I dont like playing in  the salty nasty water but it is sooooooooooooo pretty!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course the kids loved it. It was Chloes first time and Alyssa was only around 2 when we last went so Im not sure she remembered it. We didnt stay too long but it was alot of fun. We will be going back next week since the kiddos are on spring break for 2 weeks!!!!

Chloes Scope

Well the day has come and gone. Everything went pretty well. I was a nervous wreck but we did it! I have never been so scared in my life. So glad its over. The scope showed esophagitis in her upper esophagus and mild edema and furrowing. We wont know exactly whats going on until the biopsies come back. The Dr is going on vacation after Monday so hopefully the results come in before he goes!!! I am soooo curious to know what we are looking at. We took her off milk and so far she is doing well. I thought she would be crying for it but she hasnt. She knows milk makes her sick so maybe thats whny. Last night she woke up at 3:30 coughing and crying. She was swallowing and I could hear stuff coming up. I dont know if she wanted to vomit or if it was reflux....??? We will see how she does it tonight....hopefully better. I feel so bad that she has to go through all this crap.

report cards and stuff

So proud of Ryan and Alyssa. They both did really well on their report cards :)) Ryan was having a hard time with keeping his grades up and at christmas time I found out just how bad they were. He was getting one F and a couple D's. I was horrified. I always tell my kids to do their best and I will be happy. I dont push them too hard because I dont feel like I should. They have enough pressure. I stress to them that grades are VERY important and should be number 1. D's and F's are NOT acceptable at all!!!! I do expect them to do their very best and they are both very smart so I expect them to get A's and B's and maybe the occasional C. Ryan ended up with 4 C's 1 A and 1 B. I am a proud mama. Was it his absolute best? NO, I dont think so but it was the best he could do with the time he had to bring his grades up. So I am very proud of him for sure :))

Alyssa also got her report card and it was flawless She got all O's. She loves school and has also recieve 100% on all her spelling tests. Shes a smart cookie and I am really proud of her. I hope she keeps it up!!!

CHLOE ♥ again :)

The last few days have not been so great for my baby Shes had a rough couple of nights with the night before last being the worst. She woke up crying in pain. Her cry was soooo sad it made me cry. She was gagging and coughing and I was sure she would throw up. Luckily she didnt. It was a bad night. I felt so sad for her. Yesterday we went to lunch and I ordered her some ch milk. I didnt think she would have a problem. She hasnt had any throwing up spells in awhile except a couple minor ones and really 99 % of her vomitting is done at night. So she is drinking her milk and all of the sudden, she pukes LIKE ALOT. I am trying to clean her up and she pukes again....more this time. No coughing, no gagging, no clue it was about to happen. UGH not only am I embarrassed, I know what this means. After a few bad nights and her vomitting, I now know that I cant say she is doing good now so maybe we can wait on the scope. I know now for sure that we need to do the scope. We have to find out what is going on. This isnt normal. It breaks my heart to put her through that and I am soooo scared that something will go wrong but I have to have faith and believe GOD will watch over her.  As scared as I am, I know I am not helping her by being frozen in fear. I have to be strong and just get it done. I just love her soooooo much. She is my heart. :(

this song

makes me cry...


"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining



As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away



And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm



I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to you

And you raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You



But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away



I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

CHLOE ♥

I dont even know where to begin with this post. I am so confused and completly unsure of myself as a mom right now. I try my best to make all the right decisions for my kids. I never want to do something that would cause them pain or harm. I am at such a loss about her health situation right now. Im not sure if I am going to go thru with the testing that the Dr wants me to. We already tried one test and failed. Friday we went to the hospital so she could have her upper GI. She wouldnt drink the barium. i tried to force it down her but she kept gagging and throwing it up. No way could I continue to force it on her. It was too much for her and for me too. It about broke my heart. Our next test is a endoscopy. Where they will put her under. I am scared to death!!! I keep going back and forth...does she need this??? really???? The DR saw her all of 5 min TOPS and wants to do this to my baby???
In the past month or so her symptoms have gotten better. She is sleeping better, choking less, hasnt vomitted (only a couple times) and Im just not sure if we need to do this test. Every single time I think about this test, I get a sick feeling. What if something goes wrong??? Could she die? If there is even the smallest risk, its too much of a risk. What if she does this test and it shows nothing...then I will have put her thru this crap for no reason. Seriously evey single time I think about going thru with this, I feel so sick and my anxiety level goes thru the roof.
Then there is the other side of me....what if there is something wrong????? How horrible will I feel if something happens because I didnt do this test.
I dont know what to do. Should we wait?? See if something else works? Or just nip it in the bud??

Sometimes being a mom is so hard :(

I love my kids

Ive been so emotional with everything that has been going on that I have been catching myslef just watching my kids. I love to watch them play & listening to how thier minds work. Im in awe. I am so incrediably blessed beyond my wildest dreams at my 3 precious gifts, I dont know what I ever did right that GOD entrusted me with the most amazing human beings. I love them so much. They may drive me crazy but I wouldnt have it any other way. Thank you Jesus for my 3 miracles!!! Never ever did I think I could find such joy...they are my heart!!!!

blah

Chloe had her test friday and it didnt go well. She wouldnt drink the barium. I knew that would happen but the technicians were stupid and had nothing to offer. So there is one test we didnt get done. Her scope is on the 18th, I dont know if I am going to take her, Its a completly different test and there is no way she can get out of it. I just dont know if I want to do this test. My gut is telling me NO. I just dont feel comfortable with it. The thought of it makes my stomach turn. I made a call to her DR but he wont be back until the 17th!!! The lady left the message for any available GI. Hopefully someone calls me back on Monday, There is NO way in hell I am doing this test without talking to a DR first...not sure that will even help me feel better! Ugh I feel sick. Why is this so hard for me?????