December...

WOW!! Seems so crazy that Christmas is almost here. Time goes by so fast and so much changes. Its crazy. So much has been happening in our lives, so much GOOD :)

Chloe is doing well....really well. Shes back to a healthy normal kid for the most part and I pray it stays that way. She has some issues we need to resolve but overall she is really good and happy. She is turning into a little girl too fast but at the same time, I love watching her grow and become her own little person. She is dancing now and she truly loves it. Everytime we pass her dance studio she yells hi to it and she is so cute when we get ready to go she packs her little dance bag. Its adorable!! She has a whole bunch of shows coming up and Im really excited to see her perform.

Alyssa, my sweet Alyssa. She is loving school and making lots of friends. She is still deciding what she would like to do...she is thinking karate. So probably after Christmas we will sign her up. She is still doing girl scouts and we are getting ready for the BIG EXPO this weekend. I'm looking forward to spending the day with her :)) Then we will move into cookie season...fun fun. Her top front teeth are lose and one is so ready to come out. She is really excited and I cannot wait to see her toothless smile. Her smile can make the worst day completely better.

Ryan is also doing well. He likes his school and has made some good friends. He still keeps in touch with his old moval friends and I take him out there to hang out once in awhile. I'm glad that he was able to keep those connections. Hes such a great kid. I am just in awe when I look at him. He is so grown up!!!!! Christmas shopping for him has been a challenge  this year because hes not into toys at all anymore. He wanted a laptop but he doesnt need one. I dont think thats an appropriate gift for a 12 year old anyways. We have a kids computer and the kids can continue to share it. They dont need to have their own.

Speaking of Christmas, we are doing a simple one this year. Making memories and new traditions and focusing on the real meaning; JESUS. Every year I have known the meaning and so have my kids but truly we havent really made that our main focus. Sure, the kids will get plenty of gifts but we are not going overboard. I dont want spoiled rotten brats for kids. They need to know that not everything is handed to them. I am looking forward to see how this year will change my babies...for the better.

Well, thats about all I have for now. Hopefully I will someday get better at updating more often :))

pics

UPDATES

The kids are doing well. We are pretty much settled in and loving our new house. Having this much space is a blessing for sure!! I have alot that I want to do but its a slow process. I am super busy!!! Just trying to keep up on the day to day stuff is enough for me right now. We added a new dog to our family. His name is Jack...for now :) Hes really cute. Hes about 1 yrs old but not potty trained. I think he came from an abusive family...he seems scared of his own shadow but he is so sweet!!! Gentle with the kids ♥

Kids are doing well in school. Alyssa is getting perfect grades and making lots of friends and learning alot of things Im not thrilled with :/ But she loves her new school!!

Ryan was doing really well and Im not sure exactly what happened but he will work it out. We might be switching schools, we will see. Hes making friends and I think he is missing his old school a little less each day.

Chloe is doing good!!! her tummy aches are happening less frequently so that is really good!!! We take things day by day and Im really happy that she is doing so well.

Alyssa..melting my heart

Alyssa came downstairs before bed and informed us all that she was having a party in her bedroom tomorrow at 4:30 and if we wanted to come she would love it. of course we all said yes :) So after she was asleep I went in to make sure she was covered and turn off her light and I found this note on her door...

Chloe update (graphic)

So Chloe is actually doing pretty well. She is now off of all dairy and very limited Apple juice. She is having severe constipation issues :( Its getting better but she was at the point where she had to take a warm bath to poo sometimes several times a day. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not. I ended up taking her to the DR and they gave her a prescription for an enema. I didn't have to give it to her since she pooped the next morning. I have it here just in case we may need it. She has had a few episodes of throwing up or gaging. LOTS of tummy aches but I think its due to the poo issue....I don't know. She will see her GI July 2nd and we will just go from there. I hate EE :(

School is OUT!!!

Oh joy! So happy school is out and we can have some much needed relaxation. Well as soon as get get moved that is. Whole other story for another time :) I am so glad that we can have a little freedom to just do what we want!! The kids did really well in school this year. I'm very proud. Alyssa was absolutely flawless in her grades and almost perfect in her behavior at school. I really believe that has much to do with the teacher she had. I hope next yr will be just as good for her. Shes a smart smart girl and as long as she can keep her behavior in check its a slam dunk for her! Ryan did well too. Maybe not as well as we would have liked but overall he did well. It was a big adjustment for him and I am proud of his efforts (for the most part ;). He has alot to work on and he knows that so we will just step it up a bit next yr!

Our summer is not really starting on a fun note. We have packing still left to do and the big move...its all up in the air right now since things with the house are NOT moving as we would have hoped. Crossing my fingers that we still have a house! I cant allow myself to even get excited until I am holding the keys in my hand!! Anyways, after we move our summer fun can start...whatever that may be. Trying to make some plans but yeah its not happening.

We have several Dr appts coming up in July...ugh how i dread them!!!!!! Now that we are moving further away that just means a longer commute in the car with 3 kids....FUN!! Oh well, as long as my babies are healthy :))

Its been awhile

Yet again I have slacked big time on keeping up with this blog...nothing new there. Alot is going on in our life. We bought a house and we should be closing in the next couple days. It is in San Jacinto which is about 30 min from here. Not too far but far enought to start fresh. Its going to be an adjustment for all of us. The kids will go to a new school and make some new friends. Im sad that they will have to do that but life is about changing, nothing ever stays the same. They will be okay. I am looking forward to the change. A FRESH start!!! The house is nice, alot bigger than what we are renting right now and its cheaper!

There is only 4 1/2 days left of school. Im so looking forward to the summer. I cant wait to chill with my kiddos and enjoy some fun times with them. Not sure what we are going to do but I am working on the plans. :) Will be updating more later...

The vedict in in...

Chloe has EE...eosinophilic esophagitis :( She actually has it...I cant believe it. One of my babies has a disease that has the potential to cause serious problems in her life.

I am trying to take it all in. Im trying to not get all worked up. We will take it one day at a time. We still dont know what is going to happen, where this disease will lead us but I have faith that things will be okay and we can make it trhough this. I feel bad for my baby girl. I hate that she will have to deal with this. Im glad we know know what she has so we can start helping her.

All 3 of my kids are having issues right now. Chloe is dealing with EE, asthma and possibly allergies
Ryan is dealing with allergies...his eyes are red and he has a headache today. Alyssa is dealing with her yearly sesonal eczema....ugh!!!!! Its going to be a hard season. All I can do is pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday Fun Day!!!

So after all the drama going on with Chloe and with the relief of the test finally being over, I decided we needed a family fun day. JR and my mom had to go to San Diego so I decided to take the kiddos to the duck pond and the beach. Chloe started talking about feeding ducks a few weeks ago and thanks to a friend, we finally found the prefect place. The kids all had a fun time...even Ryan :) After the duck pond we went to the beach....oh how I have missed the beach!!! It was amazing. I love the beach for so many reasons. I dont like playing in  the salty nasty water but it is sooooooooooooo pretty!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course the kids loved it. It was Chloes first time and Alyssa was only around 2 when we last went so Im not sure she remembered it. We didnt stay too long but it was alot of fun. We will be going back next week since the kiddos are on spring break for 2 weeks!!!!

Chloes Scope

Well the day has come and gone. Everything went pretty well. I was a nervous wreck but we did it! I have never been so scared in my life. So glad its over. The scope showed esophagitis in her upper esophagus and mild edema and furrowing. We wont know exactly whats going on until the biopsies come back. The Dr is going on vacation after Monday so hopefully the results come in before he goes!!! I am soooo curious to know what we are looking at. We took her off milk and so far she is doing well. I thought she would be crying for it but she hasnt. She knows milk makes her sick so maybe thats whny. Last night she woke up at 3:30 coughing and crying. She was swallowing and I could hear stuff coming up. I dont know if she wanted to vomit or if it was reflux....??? We will see how she does it tonight....hopefully better. I feel so bad that she has to go through all this crap.

report cards and stuff

So proud of Ryan and Alyssa. They both did really well on their report cards :)) Ryan was having a hard time with keeping his grades up and at christmas time I found out just how bad they were. He was getting one F and a couple D's. I was horrified. I always tell my kids to do their best and I will be happy. I dont push them too hard because I dont feel like I should. They have enough pressure. I stress to them that grades are VERY important and should be number 1. D's and F's are NOT acceptable at all!!!! I do expect them to do their very best and they are both very smart so I expect them to get A's and B's and maybe the occasional C. Ryan ended up with 4 C's 1 A and 1 B. I am a proud mama. Was it his absolute best? NO, I dont think so but it was the best he could do with the time he had to bring his grades up. So I am very proud of him for sure :))

Alyssa also got her report card and it was flawless She got all O's. She loves school and has also recieve 100% on all her spelling tests. Shes a smart cookie and I am really proud of her. I hope she keeps it up!!!

CHLOE ♥ again :)

The last few days have not been so great for my baby Shes had a rough couple of nights with the night before last being the worst. She woke up crying in pain. Her cry was soooo sad it made me cry. She was gagging and coughing and I was sure she would throw up. Luckily she didnt. It was a bad night. I felt so sad for her. Yesterday we went to lunch and I ordered her some ch milk. I didnt think she would have a problem. She hasnt had any throwing up spells in awhile except a couple minor ones and really 99 % of her vomitting is done at night. So she is drinking her milk and all of the sudden, she pukes LIKE ALOT. I am trying to clean her up and she pukes again....more this time. No coughing, no gagging, no clue it was about to happen. UGH not only am I embarrassed, I know what this means. After a few bad nights and her vomitting, I now know that I cant say she is doing good now so maybe we can wait on the scope. I know now for sure that we need to do the scope. We have to find out what is going on. This isnt normal. It breaks my heart to put her through that and I am soooo scared that something will go wrong but I have to have faith and believe GOD will watch over her.  As scared as I am, I know I am not helping her by being frozen in fear. I have to be strong and just get it done. I just love her soooooo much. She is my heart. :(

this song

makes me cry...


"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining



As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away



And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm



I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to you

And you raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You



But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away



I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

CHLOE ♥

I dont even know where to begin with this post. I am so confused and completly unsure of myself as a mom right now. I try my best to make all the right decisions for my kids. I never want to do something that would cause them pain or harm. I am at such a loss about her health situation right now. Im not sure if I am going to go thru with the testing that the Dr wants me to. We already tried one test and failed. Friday we went to the hospital so she could have her upper GI. She wouldnt drink the barium. i tried to force it down her but she kept gagging and throwing it up. No way could I continue to force it on her. It was too much for her and for me too. It about broke my heart. Our next test is a endoscopy. Where they will put her under. I am scared to death!!! I keep going back and forth...does she need this??? really???? The DR saw her all of 5 min TOPS and wants to do this to my baby???
In the past month or so her symptoms have gotten better. She is sleeping better, choking less, hasnt vomitted (only a couple times) and Im just not sure if we need to do this test. Every single time I think about this test, I get a sick feeling. What if something goes wrong??? Could she die? If there is even the smallest risk, its too much of a risk. What if she does this test and it shows nothing...then I will have put her thru this crap for no reason. Seriously evey single time I think about going thru with this, I feel so sick and my anxiety level goes thru the roof.
Then there is the other side of me....what if there is something wrong????? How horrible will I feel if something happens because I didnt do this test.
I dont know what to do. Should we wait?? See if something else works? Or just nip it in the bud??

Sometimes being a mom is so hard :(

I love my kids

Ive been so emotional with everything that has been going on that I have been catching myslef just watching my kids. I love to watch them play & listening to how thier minds work. Im in awe. I am so incrediably blessed beyond my wildest dreams at my 3 precious gifts, I dont know what I ever did right that GOD entrusted me with the most amazing human beings. I love them so much. They may drive me crazy but I wouldnt have it any other way. Thank you Jesus for my 3 miracles!!! Never ever did I think I could find such joy...they are my heart!!!!

blah

Chloe had her test friday and it didnt go well. She wouldnt drink the barium. I knew that would happen but the technicians were stupid and had nothing to offer. So there is one test we didnt get done. Her scope is on the 18th, I dont know if I am going to take her, Its a completly different test and there is no way she can get out of it. I just dont know if I want to do this test. My gut is telling me NO. I just dont feel comfortable with it. The thought of it makes my stomach turn. I made a call to her DR but he wont be back until the 17th!!! The lady left the message for any available GI. Hopefully someone calls me back on Monday, There is NO way in hell I am doing this test without talking to a DR first...not sure that will even help me feel better! Ugh I feel sick. Why is this so hard for me?????

Wacky Wednesday

Alyssa's class celebrated wacky Wednesday  last week in honor of Dr Suess's Birthday. She wore her clothes backwards and I did her hair silly. I think she loooks soooo cute!!!

San Diego ZOO

My kids went to the ZOO for the first time (with the exception of Ryan) a few weeks ago. It was a great day. I am sooo looking forward to going back In a couple weeks when the kids are on spring break. There is so much to see! The kids had alot of fun! Here are a few pics...

Girl Scout pics

updates

So alot is going on with us. Alot of good and alot of not so good.

Alyssa~ So my little girl is loving gir scouts. We are nearing the end of our cookie sales and I am soooo happy its almost over lol. Its been alot of work...worth it but ALOT of work!!! I think she will be thrilled with her prizes at then end even though I decided that we were not going to go for the disneyland trip. I think we could have made it...we are close BUT its just not something I really wanted to do. Lots of reasons. But anyways, we have been having fun with that! There are also alot of fun things coming up that I am really excited to do with her.
Alyssa is doing fabulous in school!! She is way too smart for her own good. I love to watch her learn and see the way her little mind works. I cant wait to get her report card next week!! Her class now has spelling tests every week and she always gets 100%. I love that! She is also really into reading and is now past her kinder words and weill into her first grade words. It amazes me how much she can read and how fast she is learning. Shes my smarty pants!

Ryan~Lil Ryan is doing well! He is starting baseball again soon. We are signing him up next weekend. He is excited. I am too but trying to figure out how we will fit everything in. Its going to be really hard for me without JR!! But I gotta do what I gotta do. He is also doing soooo much better in school and I am proud of him for bringing his grades up! I was a little worried there for awhile. I love how his school has everything set up so we can pretty much see daily what he has done and turned in or what hes missing and a current letter grade. Its nice not to be completely in the dark. I think middle school is harder for me tahn him.
Hes having some issues right now with his allergies....tis the season!!! We see the Asthma DR wednesday so I hope maybe he can help him some. As it is he is still awake with a really stuffy nose and bloodshot eyes. I think he needs to see a ENT speacialist for his nose, maybe???

Chloe~ My baby :( Chloe has so much going on right now. I cant even think about it without crying.  Nothing too terrible but even Ryans stuffy nose bothers me...because I know it makes him miserable! My baby girl has had issues since she was itty bitty with her tummy. The more I remember back to when she was a baby, the more I remember. We finally got a DR to listen to us and we were sent to a GI who now wants to do a bunch of tests on her.He thinks she has eosinophilic esophagitsis (EE)   Tomorrow I will turn in her poo test and she will have a blood test. This coming Friday she will have a barium swallow and it 2 weeks she will have a endoscopy. MY HEART IS BREAKING!!! I keep going back and forth thinking, "does she reaaly need this?" I mean this is what I wanted! This is what I fought for thes past 2 yrs telling the DRs that something is wrong! Now I keep doubting myself. Could I be wrong?? I am scared out of my mind for the endoscopy...there are no other words. Having her get her blood taken again tomorrow is bad enough. Thank GOD for JR. I could not do this without him. Sometimes tho, I wonder if he thinks all of this is my fault. Like she doesnt really need all this and it just me being paranoid. I hope not. So anyways, thats whats going on with her. I am praying that these tests tell us something and praying that its nothing all at the same time. I hate this. HATE IT!!!!

And so it begins...

A new year ;) Full of endless possibities and all that good stuff. So far on day 3 its going great haha. We went to church today and I am so glad we did. We are back at the rock where I feel like we belong!! Its such a great Church and pastor Jim is awesome. He has a way of preaching that just speaks to me. The kids had a good time too even though ryan had to stay in Chloes class because she started crying. She will have to get used to it but I am sure in time she will love it! Its a wonderful place to have my children learn the word of God and I feel blessed that its there for us. I am making it a family resolution that we go every Sunday and try to go as many Wednesday Nights as possible. I also want to join the Thursday morning womens group. Im excited. Starting the new year right by making God our priority!! I just want my kids to grow up with a good foundation. I am hoping to have Ryan and Alyssa baptised this summer and Chloe to have the dedication. I am really thinking this will be good for our family! So far this year is headed in the right direction!

2010

Wow! Its 2010!! Amazing!
Our New Year celebration was nothing fancy but perfectly perfect for us. We played games, ate lots of yummy food, and just enjoyed eachother. Poor Chloe was out at 8 but Ryan and Alyssa made it till midnight! There is no place I would rather be than with JR and my kids to welcome a brand new year, I am so looking forward to a wonderful year of happiness for us all. I know only good things will be coming. 2009 wasnt all bad but there were some sad times....thats life.

Lots of milestones in 2009. Ryan started middle school, Alyssa started kinder, and my sweet chloe turned two. So much more but those are the big things that stand out.

So much to look forward to. We will start the year by JR and I celebrating 13 wonderful years.

SO SO much to be thankful for....SO very blessed. I have the BEST life and couldnt imagine anything better.

Happy 2010...bring on the good times!!!